Hey kiddies. Its been a turbulent week for me. Not too bad, just a lot of soul searching and self examination. I have secluded myself from my family for the time being. Why? Well its because I am still trying to figure out my next move. Where am I going to land next? I see this as an opportunity to begin chasing my own dreams and living my own life,my way. I get excited when I think about my future. I haven't had a future that was completely my own for so long that I almost feel like a kid fresh out of high school with his whole life ahead of him.

But in the back of my mind is the love I lost. Its not so heavy a burden to bear as it was a few weeks ago. But it is still there like a stubborn stain on an otherwise shining hardwood floor. Distance & Time shall heal that particular wound,quickly I pray,quickly and without a scar.

On a good note, I suddenly stopped smoking and drinking a few days ago. I just decided that what I was doing was counter-productive.Both emotionally & physically.Here I was going through one of the most traumatic experiances of my life and there I was too drunk to see the REAL lessons I was supposed to glean from the whole damn thing.Physically,my body is an intrument of wonder. I mean it has stood up to all kinds of abuse over the years. My liver & kidneys should kick my ass for the treatment they recieved from me. I was trying to drown my sorrows with alcohol and stop my dreams with sleeping pills. Not a day went by did I sleep naturally until this morning when I finally took a two hour nap at 6:30 this morning. Waking up without a hangover is strange but something I can definitely get used to.

It would seem that my longest night is coming into dawn. My self imposed exile from the family,my physical cleansing. This is my way of getting prepared for the work ahead as a new man ,in a new world with a new life.  And a new purpose

Morning is coming....

I'm getting ready...

Q