I am about to change again. I am getting fed up with my life again. Not in a totally bad way, just in the sense that I am I’m bored with the way things are. My career is fine, I still don’t make the money that I’d like to make but I understand that ambition requires sacrifice so I’m dealing with that as it comes.
The main thing that bores me is this single life. I mean on one hand having complete and total freedom to do what ever I want whenever I want with whomever I want is appealing, the downside is the lonely nights, not having someone to talk to about everything and nothing. There is no one who genuinely cares about me, and my well being.
But there is a problem…
The problem is me. I have lost that thing that allows all those others to come to fruition. It is the one thing that a relationship cannot survive without. That little ingredient is Trust. Since I’ve been dating again I’ve dated a few married women, women with boyfriends, fiancé’s and some with girlfriends. I would say that 90% of the women I’ve dated in the last few months have been involved in one way or the other with someone else while dating me. It’s disheartening that I can say that. It is sad as well.
I’ve gone so far as to join a few dating websites to change things up a little but no luck there either. I’ve gotten some numbers and hooked up a few times but there has only been one potential connection but she flaked on me for no reason and she lived too damn far away. The rest of them are either potheads, too slutty, they have too many children, still with an ex-boyfriend, live with their parents or want sugar daddy.
The women on the street all claim to have boyfriends but still take my number but then don’t call. They also give their number but then they are too busy to converse or go hang out. What’s the point? I mean I don’t want to give up but damn!! What’s a man to do?
There has to be an intelligent & honest black women out there who has the strength to get to know me. I say strength because I know I can be very demanding at times and it usually pisses people off at first but the ones who stick around for a while learn that I demand much of people because I offer much in return…
Anyway, I guess I’ve gone on for long enough. …
Laters
Que