- Mood: AAAAAAArrrrrrrrrggghhhh!!!!!!
- Music: What music?
These last few days have been hell on a stick!! I 'm sick as a dog: 101 temp, chest pains & coughing, headaches, my body is wracked in pain. So too is my heart & soul. I've come to realize in the last few days that I am miserable. The hardest part is figuring out why I'm so miserable. I have good job that I love. It does not pay what I wish it did but i have been here only a short while and there is room for growth and I must bide my time. I have a decent social life now. I hang out often and have a damn good time too. I'm not getting around with the ladies like I was before. Most of them pissed me off for one reason or another or they just weren't doing it for me or whatever, so I mean I guess that could be a factor.
I'm begining to wonder if I'm just not satisfied with my life I feel almost helpless to do anything about it. I don't have the disposable income to get a new hobby like judo, rock climbing, yoga, or some other martial arts. Nor do I have the funds to go back to school like I planned ( I owe the damn $600).
I'm just in the damn dumps right now. I keep having these dreams were I'm a part of something but I don't know what it is. There's a whole lot of things going on. Each of them are very important but I have no idea what my role is so I usually just go along. My ex is in each dream, taunting me and waiting for me to fuck everything up. What the hell does this all mean?
I'm miserable, Plain & Simple.
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